100 Word Stories - Gamers! (Repost from Facebook, 10 February 2010)

This story was not written for the 100 Word Stories podcast. It was part of an online forum contest. The challenge was to write a preciesly 100 word-long story about RPG's. This was inspired by my only attempt, so far, at being a GM.

Gamers!
GM: Sorry, you can’t use this character.
Player: Why not?
GM: Because this is a pirate adventure, and he’s a 13-year-old Chinese boy. In the Caribbean. In the 17th-Century. How did he get there?
Player: He’s on a journey of learning and spiritual self-discovery in preparation to becoming a Shaolin monk.
GM: Of course he is. But how did he get there?
Player: He decided he should go see this “New World” he’d heard of, and got captured.
GM: So now he’s a 13-year-old Chinese boy, captured by pirates! He’s gonna get passed around like rum.
Player: Oh…
GM: Yeah.
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My story was chosen as the winner of that little contest. It was a fun little feather to put in my cap, and I think I received a copy of a paperback novel about a Role-playing group's (mis-)adventures.

100 Word Story - Food Wars (Repost from Facebook, 10 February 2010)

Have you ever wondered where those disgusting cultural delicacies came from? Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway:
Every culture hates or fears foreigners, and each developed a way to intimidate them. Drinking games didn’t last long. It became a contest of edible one-up-man’s-ship, a culinary arms race, a game of gastronomic chicken. But you won’t recognize any chicken on that battlefield. The Britons have Blood Pudding. Hispanics have Menudo. Southerners have Chitlins. The Scots entered the war with Haggis. Koreans have Kimchi. The world didn’t know what to do when the Chinese brought animal penises. An immediate armistice was demanded.

This was in response to the prompt of "Haggis" from the 100 Word Podcast Weekly Challenge #198 (Week of 2/7/2010). I would have continued listing foods and countries or cultures, but that's why there's a 100-word limit.