Bad just got worse. I
was already working on a Friday night; then I had to serve my crush’s group
date.
“Here’s your
Pepsi, Sierra Mist and Crush. Your pizzas are almost done.” Gina was giggling
with a friend; the jock, ‘Lance’ according to his letterman’s jacket, had his
arm around her.
“Thanks…
’Spencer’,” he smirked, pointedly reading my name tag.
Gina caught my
glance, and smiled. I blushed, started walking away, and tripped over Lance’s
outstretched foot.
As I stood, their
laughs and whoops stung my ears; I saw Gina, laughing as hard as anyone;
my soul was crushed.
This was my entry for Weekly Challenge #182 - "Crush" (Week Ending 10/16/2009).
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
26 June 2007
I think I'm sick
Unfortunately, I've always suspected. After all, if I am, it's mental, in which case, I'm pretty sure almost anyone who knows me would have thought it was pretty much a given.
The saddest part is that I only just realized it. In the last hour, I mean. But I've had the warning signs right there in front of my face for many months. Literally in front of my face. On the computer screen. Now, in my defense, the symptoms were dormant for all the time I didn't have a computer at home. But now that I've re-connected, and now that I've seen the signs, I don't know if I'll be able to deny the truth any longer.
Here's the situation: a little over a year ago, I "discovered" MySpace for the first time, and created a profile about my wife and me (http://www.myspace.com/trishandjay). I thought how fun it would be to connect/reconnect with new friends, old friends, all that silliness, y'know? I had seen the profiles with dozens and hundreds of friends, thousands and tens of thousands of profile views. My first foray into the waters was promising: I had a couple of initial hits and got a nice note from another member who had liked what I'd posted in a comedy forum. Our profile sat dormant for a while until we got wired here at home. Then I started looking around more, doing more searches for old classmates, even making friends with a co-worker.
Now, I know we don't spend enough time online, specifically not enough time on MySpace to really have the kind of network others have, but it was only after looking around a little today that I realized that, for some reason, I was thinking that I was cooler than I was in high school! I went to a small school. Small enough that, for those people, I will never outlive that reputation. And even though my wife went to a much larger school, and had a more realistic outlook on who she wants to be connected with now, she just isn't into the internet thing enough to have spent more than a little time looking around. And I've got no problems with who I am, and where I fit into the world now. I know that who people thought I was in high school is not true, nor is it who I am now. Pretty healthy, I'd say.
Here's where the sickness comes in: even though I now know not to expect anything unrealistic, I can't stop checking the profile!
Like I said, I think I'm sick. And even though I am posting personal revelations, and self-diagnosing my own psychoses, this is not a blog!
The saddest part is that I only just realized it. In the last hour, I mean. But I've had the warning signs right there in front of my face for many months. Literally in front of my face. On the computer screen. Now, in my defense, the symptoms were dormant for all the time I didn't have a computer at home. But now that I've re-connected, and now that I've seen the signs, I don't know if I'll be able to deny the truth any longer.
Here's the situation: a little over a year ago, I "discovered" MySpace for the first time, and created a profile about my wife and me (http://www.myspace.com/trishandjay). I thought how fun it would be to connect/reconnect with new friends, old friends, all that silliness, y'know? I had seen the profiles with dozens and hundreds of friends, thousands and tens of thousands of profile views. My first foray into the waters was promising: I had a couple of initial hits and got a nice note from another member who had liked what I'd posted in a comedy forum. Our profile sat dormant for a while until we got wired here at home. Then I started looking around more, doing more searches for old classmates, even making friends with a co-worker.
Now, I know we don't spend enough time online, specifically not enough time on MySpace to really have the kind of network others have, but it was only after looking around a little today that I realized that, for some reason, I was thinking that I was cooler than I was in high school! I went to a small school. Small enough that, for those people, I will never outlive that reputation. And even though my wife went to a much larger school, and had a more realistic outlook on who she wants to be connected with now, she just isn't into the internet thing enough to have spent more than a little time looking around. And I've got no problems with who I am, and where I fit into the world now. I know that who people thought I was in high school is not true, nor is it who I am now. Pretty healthy, I'd say.
Here's where the sickness comes in: even though I now know not to expect anything unrealistic, I can't stop checking the profile!
Like I said, I think I'm sick. And even though I am posting personal revelations, and self-diagnosing my own psychoses, this is not a blog!
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